Who was Bulwer-Lytton?  He wrote this famous opening line...

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except
at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind
which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies),
rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame
of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

And here is hopefully what will be my claim to fame...

It was a Shark and score he might;  his skates fell in torrents--except
at collisional intervals, when he was was checked by a violent blast of winger
which swept up the ice (for it is in Canada that our Zamboni plies),
rattling his stick along the rink, and fiercely agitating the scanty Flames
of Calgary that struggled against the Sharkness.

And this one...

Joseph Simpleheimer, while waiting in traffic for the light to change,
twiddled his thumbs as he pondered the obvious fact that animals
without opposable thumbs have nothing to twiddle; and while in thought he
scratched his butt, and the light turned green.
 
 
 
 
 

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