Explanation #3
From: Earl S. Garber esgarber@teleport.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 26, 2000
Ed. Note: Proof that some people spend their whole day looking for
"conspiracy" on search engines?

Some of them (most noticeably the ubiquitous Dil-dude) are also mouthless.
Almost all are toothless, and some also have severe alopecia and numerous
physical deformities, not to mention their severely impaired mental states.

Why?

Over the years, there have been numerous chemical additions to cartoonists'
ink, including (but not limited to) steroids, growth hormones, fertilizers,
LSD, tachyon particles, Viagra, biogenic matter, and tofu. This primordial
seasoning confers untold mutations upon its victims, as witnessed by the de-
evolution of cartoon characters; the shrinking of Charlie Brown's head,
the shortening of Dilbert's (and the growth of his co-workers' hair),
the unprecedented weight gain of Garfield, Sarge's uncontrollable 'roid rage,
and the preservatives' effect on their severly reduced rate of aging.

The long-term prognosis?

If Minnesota is any indication with its mutated frogs and Jesse Ventura,
this is a symptom of a much bigger problem which has manifested itself,
and will continue to do so, all across the nation. To prove my hypothesis,
try drawing a frog. Does the result look mutated? I think it does.

Earl S. Garber

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