The news article from The Bogus News:

07/22/01 - Senator Lewis Carroll has proposed several additions to the Endangered Species list.
These include:  The jabberwock, which is being hunted into extinction by vorpal sword-wielding poachers
for its claws and teeth which are sold on the black market; the mimsy borogove, which is being used
for laboratory experiments; the mome rath, which is being poisoned by farmers due to its eating of
grain stored in silos; and the tumtum and tulgey trees, which are being logged at alarming rates.  Said
Senator Carroll about the Jabberwock: "Too many beamish boys go galumphing around with the
uffish thought that this manxome creature's whiffling should be silenced.  They even buy burbling calls
at GI Joe's to hunt them,  when they could just get a Jubjub license or Bandersnatch tags and catch
their limit in just one frabjous day!"
 

The original... 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.   "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!"   He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought-- So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought.   And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came!   One two! One two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.   "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy.   'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

The parody (written at age 14) 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the mud; All muddy were the whats-his-names, And the mome raths went thud.   "Beware the Blabberwock, my son! The mouth that blabs, the antler that stabs! Beware the Ooglefaloogle bird, and shun The frumious Antlerablab!"   He took his cheapo sword in hand: Long time the trivial foe he sought-- So rested he by the Bubblegum tree, With a pack of Lifesavers he bought.   And, as in snuffish thought he stood, The Blabberwock, with open mouth, Came breathing out its bad breath odor, With its antlers pointing south!   One two! Seventeen, twenty-eight! And through and through The cheapo blade went clickety-clack! He killed it dead, and with its dead head He went slithering back.   "And hast thou slain the Blabberwock? No need to ask, its breath does smell! O odorful day! Callooey! Callay!" It was frabjously swell.   'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the hall; There were no mimsy borogoves, The Blabberwock's bad breath had killed them all.

What was I thinking when I wrote the parody? Well, Lewis Carroll added notes to the original,
so I'll add mine.  (Remember, I was 14 when I wrote this parody, somewhere around 1973-74)

Paragraph 1: Wabe? Sounded like something you'd wade in...and that, for me, was mud.
                     Something about funny name overload, and then a clumsy mome rath.

Paragraph 2: Of course, a "blabberwock" would have a big mouth. As for the repetitive words,
                    what do you expect from a high school freshman?

Paragraph 3: You don't think Dad would let his kid take the expensive Vorpal sword out of
                     the house, do you? And what could be more trivial than a trophy hunt? I'd never
                     seen anyone cook anything ending in "wock." (This was before Ted Nugent.)
                     There was a commercial for Lifesavers with a father and son and the "hook" was
                     a tune with the words "Lifesavers - a part of living" around that time period.
                     Bubblegum would also be a natural part of that scene...

Paragraph 4: Snuffish = uffish (sounds like "uppity") and snobbish. Poor kids don't get to hunt
                    Blabberwock.  And what completes the image of the annoying Blabberwock
                    better than bad breath?

Paragraph 5: "Seventeen, twenty-eight!" (Is it dead yet?) "Clickety-clack" was a grossly realistic
                     sound effect (didn't know how to impress the girls yet.) "Killed it dead" was a
                     reference to the Raid commercial (kills bugs dead) and "dead head" actually did
                     NOT refer to the Grateful Dead - I was just being redundant.. After slicing and
                     dicing it 28 times you would be tired, and slither - not galumph!

Paragraph 6: Should be obvious. "Callooey" thrown in for the effect, since it wasn't scratch-
                     and-sniff.

Paragraph 7: Some things are drawn into the house when they smell Blabberwock, but some
                    things just can't handle it.  Oh well, that's life!

 Back to home page