The  Bogus Bulletin Because when news breaks,
we need a government bail-out
to fix it.

Today's public service announcement:  Stop The NOOBS!
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Presidential Candidate Interviews
3/23/2012 - We have asked the Republican candidates this question:  "How far back in history would you take the United States:?"  Here are their answers.

Rick Santorum: "1952.  You can't go back any farther in Republican history without running into Hoover, and he made a few small mistakes."
Mitt Romney:  "1968.  I look a little like Nixon, except for the nose.  Watch this....'I AM NOT A CROOK!'  See?"
Newt Gingrich:  "Um, when did I meet the first girlfriend I dumped?  Uh, that would be 1963."
Ron Paul:  "I prefer to look toward the future, such as the year 2028 when Bristol Palin as senator from Alaska is running against Brad Pitt the governor of California. Good times."

We didn't include Barack Obama, but of course he commented anyway:  "2007, when the stock market tanked and Bush was an idiot.  Then I jumped right in and did a perfect job of fixing it all.  I am unbeatable!"

Occupy Your Mom's Basement
1/14/12 - After protests from Occupy Farmville, several midwest musicians have started Farmville Aid and planned an online concert.  This will raise awareness in the plight of  farmers who have not received their virtual cattle feed and virtual fertilizer.  A similar protest in New Jersey prompted musicians to sign up for "Yo Mafia Family Aid"  to aid displaced Mafia online families who can no longer build their Mafia Cities.  "It's a global epidemic" said international internet analyst Phor Chan.  "Without e-farms, there will be major e-food shortages worldwide.  Without an e-mafia, people will turn to Nigerian scams and other disorganized crime.  The internet will, except for porn, become a virtual wasteland.  People would be forced out of basements and internet cafes, and we would have to smell them."  And that, if you've ever smelled an Occupy protest, would be catastrophic to the entire human population.

Go back to the home of the Old Comedywriter

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