| The Bogus Bulletin | Because when news breaks,
we need a government bail-out to fix it. |
Today's public
service announcement: Stop The NOOBS!
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Previous public service announcements:
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Bogus news flashes for: .
Presidential Candidate Interviews
3/23/2012 - We have asked the Republican candidates this question:
"How far back in history would you take the United States:?" Here
are their answers.
Rick Santorum: "1952. You can't go back any farther in Republican
history without running into Hoover, and he made a few small mistakes."
Mitt Romney: "1968. I look a little like Nixon, except
for the nose. Watch this....'I AM NOT A CROOK!' See?"
Newt Gingrich: "Um, when did I meet the first girlfriend I dumped?
Uh, that would be 1963."
Ron Paul: "I prefer to look toward the future, such as the year
2028 when Bristol Palin as senator from Alaska is running against Brad
Pitt the governor of California. Good times."
We didn't include Barack Obama, but of course he commented anyway: "2007, when the stock market tanked and Bush was an idiot. Then I jumped right in and did a perfect job of fixing it all. I am unbeatable!"
Occupy Your Mom's Basement
1/14/12 - After protests from Occupy Farmville, several midwest musicians
have started Farmville Aid and planned an online concert. This will
raise awareness in the plight of farmers who have not received their
virtual cattle feed and virtual fertilizer. A similar protest in
New Jersey prompted musicians to sign up for "Yo Mafia Family Aid"
to aid displaced Mafia online families who can no longer build their Mafia
Cities. "It's a global epidemic" said international internet analyst
Phor Chan. "Without e-farms, there will be major e-food shortages
worldwide. Without an e-mafia, people will turn to Nigerian scams
and other disorganized crime. The internet will, except for porn,
become a virtual wasteland. People would be forced out of basements
and internet cafes, and we would have to smell them." And that, if
you've ever smelled an Occupy protest, would be catastrophic to the entire
human population.
Go back to the home of the Old Comedywriter
root@localhost postmaster@localhost admin@localhost abuse@localhost spam@primenet.com abuse@[127.0.0.1] postmaster@[127.0.0.1] root@[127.0.0.1] admin@[127.0.0.1] billing@[127.0.0.1] root@localhost abuse@127.000.000.001 jonah.gitlitz@the-dma.org postmaster@localhost postmaster@127.000.000.001 marsha.goldberger@the-dma.org admin@localhost root@127.000.000.001 kebeling@the-dma.org abuse@localhost admin@127.000.000.001 dcoyne@the-dma spam@primenet.com billing@127.000.000.001 mmicali@the-dma.org uce@164.62.3.21 uce@arcticfox.ftc.gov dmef@the-dma.org uce@164.62.3.23 uce@redfox.ftc.gov webmaster@the-dma.org uce@164.62.7.14 uce@redwolf.ftc.gov postmaster@al-jazeera.net uce@164.62.7.2 uce@saltydog.ftc.gov missionofiraq@rr.com noway@jose.com uce@ftc.gov icantbelieveiatethewholething@gastroenteritis.com urp@belch.com FooYou@AhSo.com.cn urp@bulimia.com hurl@chunder.com eatme@biteme.com rufus@doofus.com ding@bat.com megalomaniac@world-domination.com corksucker@winecountry.com