I know of the mystical gate that was closed 1000 years ago. The medieval garage
door opener wasn't working and the feudal landowner never replaced it
with another ox. It was abandoned until the Renaissance when
Michelangelo was hired as a painting contractor to spruce it up a bit.
He got overspray from the paint sprayer on the landowner's coat of
arms and was fired, and walked away saying he had a better job lined
up anyway painting ceilings. Today it is a tourist attraction similar
to the gate at Graceland, except it's haunted by Dracula instead of Elvis.
Whirled Hysterie
There will be a test on this material on Friday.

Kafka's idea for "The Metamorphosis" was lifted from a previous story
written by another well-known author.  Few people are aware of the
short story  "El Transformación" by Cervantes, where Don
Quixote turns into a tequila worm. Kafka was never known for his
marketability or his originality, just as Hawthorne was never known
for his brevity or Orwell for his levity.
Whirled Hysterie
There will be a test Tuesday on this material.

What makes incubi worse than succubi is the mixture of testosterone
and a demon hormone. This hormone was first isolated by noted Mexican
researcher Juan Carlos D'Avila in 1982, and he gave it the name
Chupacabrin. It is produced by an individual who has contracted a rare
infection of herpes-E7 virus from sexual contact with a carrier, or is
passed through the placenta to the fetus during pregnancy. This virus
causes sexual hyperactivity, hallucinations, and in later years,
death. Subjects with long-term infections lose their sense of passage
of time and have delusions of immortality.
Whirled Hysterie
There will be a test on this material on Friday.

As we mourn the passing of Pope John Paul II, let us recall the papacy
of Pope Heynus I in the early fourth century. His term was marked by
the attempt to rid Europe of heathens, who believed in such outrageous
theories as the earth being round and women having functional brains.
He ordered the arrest and execution of the Knights Templar by decree
that nobody in the Holy Roman Empire should have a more colorful uniform
than the clergy. He was found stoned to death, allegedly by a mob of
masked pagan warlords. The nail polish residue on the stones used to
kill him was never mentioned in published records of his death.
Whirled Hysterie
There will be a test on this material next Tuesday.

Eggplant - the discovery of this marvelous vegetable
by some uninformed Neanderthals:
"Me find fruit look like egg! You try, Ogg!"
"Me no try. You try!"
"I not try."
"Hey, let get Mikey try! He eat anything!"
"Who Mikey?"
"Ug. Me not know."
"You try first, me give you nice new spear!"
"Aw, what heck. Me try."
Ogg tries it and immediately spits it out, screaming and jumping about.
"Taste like mammoth poop! Me use new spear kill you!"
That night, Ogg and a gang of Neanderthals eggplanted his house.
And so it has been throughout time, with eggplant passed down from
generation to unsuspecting generation.
Whirled Hysterie
There will be a test on this material Friday.
 

Also in the historical archives:  Vestradamus, that OTHER 16th century psychic.

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