a. Melissa Gilbert
b. Lindsay Wagner
c. Meredith Baxter
d. Valerie Bertinelli
e. That woman who used to be married to whats-his-name

Gets:

a. Her kids taken away
b. Stalked
c. Abused
d. A rare horrible terrible illness
e. Thrown in jail for something her husband put her up to

while her husband:

a. Has an affair
b. Has two affairs
c. Badmouths her, ignores her, then has an affair
d. Uploads their bedroom video to the internet, sells their story to the tabloids, then has an affair

with:

a. Her best friend
b. The boss and/or secretary
c. Her best friend's husband
d. Her sister / sisters / mother / adopted daughter / family pet

and when caught, he says:

a. "This is not what it looks like"
b. "Next time, knock before coming in to your own bedroom"
c. "I can explain everything"
d. "This is obviously all YOUR fault!"

which causes her to:

a. Become enlightened
b. Call a lawyer
c. Become a lawyer
d. "Find" herself
e. Become a writer for Lifetime TV

The preceding program was brought to you by:

a. Gyne-Lotrimin
b. Always (with wings)
c. Rogaine for Women
d. Xanax
e. Dr. Kevorkian

Go back to the home of the Old Comedywriter