Portage County authorities are struggling to explain the gruesome death of
a Stevens Point teenager who police say killed himself Saturday with a power saw.
A 911 caller alerted police at about 7:45 p.m. Saturday that a man, later identified as
Logan P. Sterling, 19, had crashed his vehicle into trees at North Second and Johnson streets.
Sterling then fled on foot to a Dubay Avenue residence less than a half-mile away
where he entered a stranger's garage and used a miter saw to sever his neck, according to
police and witness reports. The resident, who was watching TV at the time,
heard his dog barking and the sound of the saw and found Sterling lying unconscious in the garage.
Stevens Point police have ruled the crash intentional based on an interview with a male passenger in
Sterling's vehicle, who received only minor injuries. The Portage County Sheriff's Department
continues to investigate Sterling's death as a suicide. "Because of the nature of this, we'd like to find out
what his thought process was at the time," said Sheriff's Lt. Ron Ryskoski.
Vandergrafscrotum
USA - August 30, 2002 at 05:32:28 (EDT)

And the parody, posted later on the same board:

Porkage County authors are struggling to clean up after the gluesome sniffing breath of
a Stupidity Point teenager who police say killed himself Saturday with a glue gun.
A 911 caller woke police at about 7:45 p.m. Saturday and a man, later identified as
Logan "Run" Sterling, 19, had crashed his vehicle into trees at North Shithead and Jackoff streets.
Sterling then fled on his remaining foot to a Dumbass Avenue residential residence less than a half-wit away
where he entered a stranger's garbage and used a hand saw to sever his neck, according to
groggy police and witless reports. The residential village idiot, who was watching "Jackass" at the time,
heard his dog barfing and saw the saw and found Sterling lying unconcerned and headless in the garage.
Stupidity Point police have ruled the crash intentional based on an interview with a she-male passenger in
Sterling's vehicle, who received only a minor contact high. The Porkage County Sheriff's Department
refuses to investigate Sterling's death as a suicide. "Because of the sheer idiocy of this, we'd like to find out
if he had a thought process at the time," said Sheriff's Lt. Ron Stupidowicz. "It seems he had been brain dead
for a while, and the loss of his head did not affect him significantly."
Juxta Position
USA - August 30, 2002 at 20:53:02 (EDT)

Turns out that it was mushrooms and not glue:

Wed, Sep 24, 2003 - Drug case tied to teen's suicide
By KATE GARSOMBKE Journal staff

A follow-up investigation into last year's suicide of a Stevens Point teen has led to a Madison teen being charged with delivering hallucinogenic mushrooms.
Jameson L. Friess, 19, failed to make his initial appearance Tuesday in Portage County court on a charge that he sold psilocybin mushrooms to friends of 19-year-old Logan P. Sterling the day Sterling killed himself with a power saw.  Judge Thomas Flugaur issued a bench warrant for Freiss's arrest.
As Portage County law officers struggled to explain the circumstances surrounding Sterling's death last fall, the county coroner's office turned to a private lab to test his blood for drugs that are undetectable by the state lab. Because of an insufficient amount of blood in the sample, the lab was unable to determine whether the drug was present in Sterling, the criminal complaint said.
Sterling intentionally crashed his 1993 Ford Escort, which also carried a male passenger, into trees on the city's north side Aug. 24, 2002. He then fled on foot to a Dubay Avenue home, where he entered a stranger's garage and used a miter saw to sever his neck, according to police reports.
In a follow-up interview, a friend of Sterling's told Portage County Sheriff's Department Detective Ter-ry Groshek that Sterling may have been under the influence of psilocybin mushrooms when he died, according to a criminal complaint.
When eaten, psilocybin mushrooms distort perception and thought. Users have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality and can suffer nausea, dizziness and muscle twitching. People also can experience intense anxiety, panic, mood changes and perceptual distortions similar to the effects of LSD.
A charge of delivery of psilocybin wasn't filed against Friess until August 2003 because law officers were waiting for the results of the blood test, said Portage County District Attorney Thomas Eagon.
He said no charges relating to Sterling's death will be brought against Friess because of a lack of "evidence to link it to the death."
According to the criminal complaint, Friess went to Sterling's home Aug. 24, 2002, with several people and they all had mushroom tea. Friess also sold psilocybin mushrooms to several people at Sterling's for $30 or $40 per one-eighth of an ounce.
Friess later told a Portage County law officer that he bought 20 grams of mushrooms in Madison for $160, then sold 15 grams of the mushrooms to Sterling's two roommates.
Sterling's mother went to her son's home Aug. 25, 2002, and told one of the roommates to give her whatever drugs they had been taking, according to the complaint. The roommate gave her a 2.2-gram bag of mushrooms, which she turned over to the sheriff's department.
A message left by the Journal on Sterling's mother's answering machine was not returned.
A search of Sterling's home by law officers later found two more bags of mushrooms, weighing 2.5 grams and 3.7 grams, court records said.