Here they are, in no particular order:  Unedited things from our local paper
and other barely newsworthy sources.
Pictures have been cropped, but nothing has been edited or "photoshopped"...
 
 


This picture is from an actual stack of newspapers 
found in my radio room. 
No papers were rearranged, miscounted, 
or discarded in taking this photo. 
We'll leave it up to the canvassing board to interpret 
the intent of the voters here...

This was from a local TV listings insert. 
Look what the Easter Bunny dragged in.

Home gardening at its best?

Make this the week to go on slug patrol with a working calculator. 
Good thing slugs are really bad at math.

 

Aside from the obvious error in not inserting the name, 
what's a "sir-name?" 
If it was a woman, would it be a "Miss-nomer?" 
Or were they thinking of the South American country "Suriname?" 
Yeah, it should be "surname."  It's pretty pathetic when even newspapers' mistakes have spelling errors...

Wrong again.
But what's in a Skuriname anyway?

But how far did the date with the reporter progress 
before he figured it out?

File this one under "How To Serve Man." 
Another half-baked story by our newspaper. 
My question:  What is he serving at Camp Cooke?













 

Just one problem here:  the article was written by Dave BARRY. 
No relation to Chuck Berry, Marion Berry, or Boo Berry.

At least they admit it was a mistake.











 

These two were from the same newspaper. 
That makes the 14th the second Tuesday of last week. 
Does anybody really know what time it is?

Newspaper make more mistake. 
Me love read Bizarro News.

Another typo, but this one actually fits.

Legal acknowledgement that drugs are an 
intrinsic part of the entertainment industry. 
Probably also a work requirement.

 

I hope nobody imitates their bad spelling.


Looks like somebody's brain seized up. 
Or is it just that Tuesday thing again?
38
This newspaper article is from the newspaper.
 
Nothing like profiting from others' misery...

...but what's the "Buy It Now" price?

I want to get a Nextel for $36 too!

It's a six volt engine that puts out 180 horsepooper with a
displacement of 225 cubit itches.
Now THAT's different.

Obviously, this "Gatway 200" computer 
does not come with a spell checker.

But did he wave right after the hearing?
The local paper waves "bye-bye" to the word "waive"...

But how much do you have to donate before they
realize that "Dystrophy" doesn't start with an "S" ?
 


Wilma Flintstone led a group of angry teachers
picketing Bedrock Elementary School in
prehistoric times, according to stone tablets
discovered yesterday.
 
 

(This was supposed to be a headline about a 
British Columbia teachers' walkout...)
 


Why?  Because wiretapeing removes unnecessary
vowels from the streets and puts them to work for YOU.
And I'm sure that even Sasquatch could have spelled it correctly.

And that's what they've been busy doing 
instead of deciphering the rules of spelling.

Our newspaper needs to grab a clue.

Yes, I write a monthly item for our local paper too.  And under the byline, each one starts with the classic opening words:
"Pay to the order of..."

Go back to the Home of the Old Comedywriter.