Dear American rich person:
I would like to propose a business deal for you.  I have somehow, I don't know how,
but anyhow, something about oil money or something, gotten the amount of
20 MILLION CAPITALIZED DOLLARS and its in a bank in Switzerland, or is it
Swaziland, or maybe Tanzania or something.  Anyways I need a hella lotta help as you
say in moving it outta this third world country to somewhere that appreciates money
and not cattle.  I got cows all over, dammit.  I need money.

Like I was saying, all the arrangements and modalities and commodes have been put
in place to facilitate this transaction, and upon receipt of your fax (or when I hear your
fax calling my phone anyways) I will send the amout of ONCE AGAIN CAPITALIZED
FIVE MILLION DOLLARS to your bank account.  Just give me bank account number
and pin number and mothers maiden name and social security number but please no more cows.
Hell, if you have marriage age daughter I trade all them freakin cows for her and forget the money.

Please keep this communication in complete confidentiality and secrecy.  If you are caught by
this Mugabe guy, whoever he is, I will deny all and say its cause I have mad cow disease.
Being around these many cows will make you mad anyways!
I been hearing moo voices in my head telling me to drink more milk or else the cow-god
will come out of the sky and get me.

Sincerely sincerest sincerities,

MICHAEL NKOMAKO

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